My toxic trait

My daughter started school in the beginning of this month and it’s been brutal. She was previously in daycare two days a weeks so we’ve been accustomed to the little kid plagues, but an increase to five days is a 150% increase or her exposure to disease So me, my husband, the baby, we’ve all been sick at least twice this month. I’m starting to get depressed just because I’m so tired from being sick myself and constantly waking up to tend to my sick baby, it feels like it has been going on forever and it will never end.

When I’m sick and stuck on the couch I tend to lock in and scroll social media day and night, and all my self-improvement goals (a large portion of which are directed at curbing that very behavior!) go out the window. I’ve even found myself arguing with people! Despite me solemnly swearing not to do that anymore.

Also I’ve been really interested in the larger ATmosphere recently! So I want to check stuff out stuff related to that all the time now. And my circumstances feed the interest, since I can't do many of my hobbies except online right now. I can't even hit my chess games hard because these illnesses are making me slow and stupid, and it took me years to climb to the 700s (this is not good, to be clear, but lower is even worse!), so I am only just replying enough to keep my games alive at this time.

Unbelievably, I’ve started coming down with yet another illness so like, I’m not getting better lmao.

I was challenging myself to only interact with Bluesky through alternate apps, like Anisota or Popfeed. It’s essentially impossible to fight like this, which is good for me. Unfortunately doing this revealed an issue with my self-hosted PDS (the reveal was, it wasn't working!) so I migrated back to Bluesky's hosting for my PDS and also reinstalled the iOS app to troubleshoot. I am considering just moving my entire social media presence to ATProto products because I find the interoperability so fun and interesting but then it is early days and it doesn't always work (as my self-hosting experiment shows) so I am a little worried about all the eggs in one basket aspect.

Okay I've talked myself through it: I am going to focus on tinkering on web projects, and doing house chores when I'm able, and resting when I'm not. I've got to get better!